In his essay “Tense Present,” David Foster Wallace claims that Bryan Garner’s A Dictionary of Modern American Usage is effective because Garner effaces his individuality from the argument: upon finishing ADMAU, the reader has no idea whether Garner is “black or white, gay or straight, Democrat or Dittohead” (57). To Wallace, Garner’s ethical appeal derives from the fact that he does not seem to exist at all, and he doesn’t let his personality get in the way of his argument. But while Wallace claims that Garner is a “genius” (57), he deliberately departs from Garner’s anonymous writing style. In fact, Wallace flaunts his authorial voice, and by the end of the essay the reader is well acquainted with the author. This begs the question: if Wallace so admires Garner’s impersonal approach, why does he appeal to his reader with such different rhetoric?
Indeed, David Foster Wallace shares an awful lot about his past and present life. From the author’s endless digressions, we know that Wallace is a SNOOT, his family’s nickname for a usage fanatic “whose idea of Sunday fun is to look for mistakes in Safire’s column’s prose itself” (41). We know that Wallace, like his mother, is an English teacher. We know that Wallace is the product of a “nuclear family,” his mother being “a SNOOT of the most rabid and intractable sort” and his father being the sort of guy who just “rolled his eyes and drove” while his neurotic family members hollered SNOOT-y songs from the back seat (41). We know that Wallace was the kind of kid who actually wrote these songs, and the kind of kid who actually knew what the word “solecism” means.
In fact, David Foster Wallace seems to go out of his way to share snippets of his Grammar Geek past. This show-and-tell attitude is in complete opposition to Garner’s more anonymous strategy, which can lead the reader to believe that if Garner is a genius, then Wallace must be a nincompoop for projecting himself onto his argument.
But David Foster Wallace does not always write as David Foster Wallace, the Rural Midwestern and SNOOT-y English professor, might be expected to write. He makes liberal use of unconventional words, acronyms, and abbreviations as well as the irregular capitalization of nouns (“SNOOT,” “ADMAU,” and “Computer Nerd,” just to name a few) (41). Lexicographic jargon, such as “1-P pronoun,” and extensive footnotes imitate academic prose, and yet within those very same footnotes Wallace has no reservation in bandying about words like “wacko” (51) and “total idiot” (53). Childish speech (such as the “plus” in “plus also the ‘uncomfortable’ part” and the “sort of” in “it was sort of our family’s version of ‘100 Bottles . . . Wall’”) sits alongside obscure foreign imports such as àclef and Sprachgefül (41). In fact, David Foster Wallace’s essay uses as many different writing styles as there are dialects of Standard English.
Wallace’s prose has far more character than Garner’s. Indeed, “Tense Present” is appealing precisely because the author’s voice is so pronounced. Thus, what at first appears to be a raving review of Garner’s dictionary becomes an ironic criticism of Garner’s bland but perfect Standard English. Real people don’t speak Garner’s Standard English; real people must be either “black or white, gay or straight, Democrat or Dittohead” (57), and these character traits define how they speak, write, and interact with others. Even though Wallace seems to be defending the existence of Standard English, the vivacity of his prose undercuts his argument. Wallace’s English is not Standard: it is unique among the myriad other dialects spoken around the globe. Thus, he is arguing for diversity in the English language, not against it.
The examples given above prove that Wallace’s writing style is not limited to a single, Standard English voice. The reader hears not only the author’s SNOOT-y English but also Rural Midwestern English, Academic English, Political English, Colloquial English, Simple English, and a never-ending laundry list of variations, permutations, and combinations thereof. Wallace argues that English is a diverse, living language, and its speakers are not limited to educated WASPs, and its written usage is not limited to lexicographic dissertations. English (unlike, for example, Latin, which was deployed as an upper class trait) is truly democratic because it is used every day in countless contexts by people from all walks of life.
Wallace does not directly broach the issue of the diversity of English in his essay. In this way, Wallace is like Garner in that “his argumentative strategy is totally brilliant and totally sneaky, and part of both qualities is that it usually doesn’t seem like there’s even an argument going on at all” (57). David Foster Wallace lets his words speak for themselves. Even in an essay praising the merits of Standard English, he manages to display the versatility and flexibility of the English language without uttering a word on the subject. His specifically non-Standard choice of words proves that other forms of English can be just as persuasive as Standard English.
Even more brilliant and sneaky is that this undercover rhetoric only reinforces Wallace’s ostensible argument. The fact that individual words define (and support) Wallace’s position vis-à-vis the English language is undeniable proof in favor of Wallace’s fundamental thesis: that words do have power, that language does matter, and that English usage is in fact a political issue. If words have the power to convince, then they also have the power to manipulate, to sway, to incite into action. Anything this powerful is by definition a social concern, and so what does or does not go into the dictionary is an issue of the utmost social, political, and democratic importance.
Wallace, David Foster. “Tense Present.” Harper’s Magazine 1 Apr. 2001: 39–58. Print.
We started the week expecting to publish one David Foster Wallace post. Then, because of the 50th birthday celebration, it turned into two. And now three. We spent some time tracking down free DFW stories and essays available on the web, and they're all now listed in our collection, 800 Free eBooks for iPad, Kindle & Other Devices. But we didn't want them to escape your attention. So here they are -- 23 pieces published by David Foster Wallace between 1989 and 2011, mostly in major U.S. publications like The New Yorker, Harper's, The Atlantic, and The Paris Review. Enjoy, and don't miss our other collections of free writings by Philip K. Dick and Neil Gaiman.
- "9/11: The View From the Midwest" (Rolling Stone, October 25, 2001)
- "All That" (New Yorker, December 14, 2009)
- "An Interval" (New Yorker, January 30, 1995)
- "Asset" (New Yorker, January 30, 1995)
- "Backbone" An Excerpt from The Pale King (New Yorker, March 7, 2011)
- "Big Red Son" from Consider the Lobster & Other Essays
- "Brief Interviews with Hideous Men" (The Paris Review, Fall 1997)
- "Consider the Lobster" (Gourmet, August 2004)
- "David Lynch Keeps His Head" (Premiere, 1996)
- "Everything is Green" (Harpers, September 1989)
- "E Unibus Pluram: Television and U.S. Fiction" (The Review of Contemporary Fiction, June 22, 1993)
- "Federer as Religious Experience" (New York Times, August 20, 2006)
- "Good People" (New Yorker, February 5, 2007)
- "Host" (The Atlantic, April 2005)
- "Incarnations of Burned Children" (Esquire, April 21, 2009)
- "Laughing with Kafka" (Harper's, January 1998)
- "Little Expressionless Animals" (The Paris Review, Spring 1988)
- "On Life and Work" (Kenyon College Commencement address, 2005)
- "Order and Flux in Northampton" Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV(Conjunctions, 1991)
- "Rabbit Resurrected" (Harper's, August 1992)
- "Several Birds" (New Yorker, June 17, 1994)
- "Shipping Out: On the (nearly lethal) comforts of a luxury cruise" (Harper's, January 1996)
- "Tennis, trigonometry, tornadoes A Midwestern boyhood" (Harper's, December 1991)
- "Tense Present: Democracy, English, and the wars over usage" (Harper's, April 2001)
- "The Awakening of My Interest in Annular Systems" (Harper's, September 1993)
- "The Compliance Branch" (Harper's, February 2008)
- "The Depressed Person" (Harper's, January 1998)
- "The String Theory" (Esquire, July 1996)
- "The Weasel, Twelve Monkeys And The Shrub" (Rolling Stone, April 2000)
- "Ticket to the Fair" (Harper's, July 1994)
- "Wiggle Room" (New Yorker, March 9, 2009)
Free Philip K. Dick: Download 13 Great Science Fiction Stories
Neil Gaiman’s Free Short Stories
Read 17 Short Stories From Nobel Prize-Winning Writer Alice Munro Free Online
10 Free Stories by George Saunders, Author of Tenth of December, “The Best Book You’ll Read This Year”